Hell: Day # 1

I’m taking Chantix, a quit smoking aid, because my psychiatrist was worried about my increased mood swings if I quit all by myself. That I am just now also cutting back on my anti-anxiety meds.

Basically Chantix works by blocking the nicotine from joining with the nicotine receptors in your brain. Chantix also helps to release dopamine therefore making the “need” to smoke not as bad. Don’t take Chantix if you have liver problems, are pregnant, or are seeking to become pregnant. If you have erection for more than three hours, please seek medical attention.

Nausea is a side effect. I’ve had that. But maybe that is a good thing really. For instance, it keeps me from eating a lot which may counteract the evil weight gain of the quitting stage.

Overall, Asianpixie says I haven’t been that bad. That and we had lots of sex to help create happy chemicals. It was either that or substituting cigarettes for crack.

But things are still off. For instance:
Being at work and not smoking sucks. I miss my breaks. I miss the gossip.
I keep farting in my boss’ office. This actually could be due to the Chipotle last night.
Will my body self-regulate? Will I have to start Activia instead?
I don’t think my body can take much more coffee.
I hate gum already.
My brain is somewhere between feeling high and completely dead.