Pictures of 899 Words, But Worth Only 5.

Today’s Fun Picture Word Search:
“words”
“carpal tunnel”

Carl, grief stricken, raised his feeble hand to touch the face of God, only to realize his hard prayers really did find a soft spot with Jesus.

Deformed wiggling hands could result in mass destruction from pointy Galaga Ships, quickly followed by a platoon of stars.

Although Mr. Butterworth’s panic stricken meows were muffled, he knew his saving grace was his fierce will to survive anything that came his way.

Pictures of 898 Words

Pick someone you hate or sort of just don’t like.
Now choose at least three words to describe that person.
Google each word separately under “images.”
Yay, caption time!
I just helped you to waste 15 minutes at work.
You’re welcome.

Clyde and Jimmy Joe Bob figured it was high time to see if they could find a match across 29 Dimensions at eHarmony.com. Sadly, the new fangled web world showed their faces, which only a mother-aunt-cousin could love.

Screw the colostomy bag. It was Earl’s birthday.

Maryann’s dream of riding in a convertible with John, while staring up her nostrils with the tiniest mirror she could muster, also while taking her own picture finally was realized today, the happiest of all days.

Ugly People Just Shouldn't Talk

He's going to say something about how other people look? Really? No. Seriously?

Thank you. Come again.

The top thing that people are searching for and then landing is “Chantix blog.” I wrote that post a while ago stating that this was not a Chantix blog. However, now that I have posted about it and now that I have just written the previous sentence, it will continue this madness all the more.

So here a few more searches:

Chantix and erections
The bad on chantix
quitting smoking withdrawals gas farting
Sarcastic old lady card
Don’t hassle the hoff
Zit in my nose
Pain in my vagina
Pet vac
Asshair
help me my coworkers keep farting
Secret Lesbian
Vaginal rejuvenation what went wrong


Is that last one something you should really be searching for? I would rather you just call your doctor. Seriously. Pick up the phone. Don’t regret two things.

Bathroom Etiquette for Work

Obviously there are a few ground rules one must obey when going potty at work:

1. Don’t look down into the perfectly shined marble flooring for fear of seeing your CFO’s poot.
2. Try not to release excess gas in abundance or with any great sound.
3. Flush several times if any need arises.
4. Do not talk while you continue to tinkle.
5. Wash. Your. Hands.
6. Do not answer your cell phone in the toilet.
7. Do not peer through the openings of the stalls.
8. Small talk, people. Not mini-meetings.
9. Do not flush tampons or pads down the toilet. It will clog. Seriously. Stop it.

Yes, they are all basic. I did not ever believe I would have to relate the following story in order to educate the masses....

So number 10 is the following story:

I exit my stall at the same time as another co-worker, Jamie. We both diligently wash our hands and without looking directly at her I say, “I hear you’re having an awesome time over there,” in reference to the latest gossip.

She replies, “Umm Hmm. These are fabulous.”
“What are?” I say, looking to my left at her.

She then holds up a package of “Wet Personal Wipes.”

My horrified look must have spoken for me. She then says, “Girl, if you had my problems....”

I try to shake the excess water from my hands and the stricken look from my face.

“Umm, yeah. I guess,” I manage to say. I then bolted from the bathroom.

10. Do not share your need for “personal wipes” with your fellow employees and for God’s sake do not share the fact that you have a problem that warrants the constant use for such a product.

In my search for a picture of the product she used I found this one:




The text reads: Fresh Bath™ is the rinse free bathing choice for anyone who struggles with bathing, or lacks a bathing facility. Skin will be left feeling clean, refreshed and moisturized all day.

Awesome.