Obviously there are a few ground rules one must obey when going potty at work:
1. Don’t look down into the perfectly shined marble flooring for fear of seeing your CFO’s poot.
2. Try not to release excess gas in abundance or with any great sound.
3. Flush several times if any need arises.
4. Do not
talk while you continue to tinkle.
5. Wash. Your. Hands.
6. Do not answer your cell phone in the toilet.
7. Do not peer through the openings of the stalls.
8. Small talk, people. Not mini-meetings.
9. Do not flush tampons or pads down the toilet. It will clog. Seriously. Stop it.
Yes, they are all basic. I did not ever believe I would have to relate the following story in order to educate the masses....
So number 10 is the following story:
I exit my stall at the same time as another co-worker, Jamie. We both diligently wash our hands and without looking directly at her I say, “I hear you’re having an awesome time over there,” in reference to the latest gossip.
She replies, “Umm Hmm. These are fabulous.”
“What are?” I say, looking to my left at her.
She then holds up a package of “Wet Personal Wipes.”
My horrified look must have spoken for me. She then says, “Girl, if you had my problems....”
I try to shake the excess water from my hands and the stricken look from my face.
“Umm, yeah. I guess,” I manage to say. I then bolted from the bathroom.
10. Do not share your need for “personal wipes” with your fellow employees and for God’s sake do not
share the fact that you have a problem that warrants the constant use for such a product.
In my search for a picture of the product she used I found this one:
The text reads: Fresh Bath™ is the rinse free bathing choice for anyone who struggles with bathing, or lacks a bathing facility. Skin will be left feeling clean, refreshed and moisturized all day.